Nanny Diaries

So sometimes I catch my Nanny giving O a kiss on the cheek, and its given me very mixed emotions! On one hand she’s not family and I don’t really like the idea of her or anyone that’s not family kissing O to be honest, but on the other hand I feel as though she really adores O so is that a good thing? I would just like to note that I don’t really know her too well, she is New to us so could this be too intimate too soon?

This is something that has really been bugging me, and with all of that being said I’ve come to the conclusion that even though she really adores O, I’m just not comfortable with it, which brings me to the question, how do I tell her to stop without offending her? I really like the idea that she is so smitten with O and I don’t want to change that or make her feel like I don’t like her or something….HELP!!!

Any mama’s & papa’s go through the same thing? Am I being ridiculous? I would REALLY appreciate some advice 😊

Sidenote; Wayne is really not happy with it at all, and I see his point completely. My issue is being polite but at the same time be firm, I mean she’s my child so I shouldn’t feel bad telling the Nanny this at all but for some reason I do!

12 Comments Add yours

  1. Jessy says:

    Tatiana I feel you on this one!!! Sigh! Im a new Mom and my son is 11 weeks old today.I have been following your posts coz of course I felt that we were connected in some sought of way! 🙂 I digress. This issue bothers me so much it is rediculuss, even when I hear my nanny making kissy sounds to him I feel disturbed. Maybe its because I kiss him a lot and she feels its okay to do the same? I know I have to tell her and I am planning to but I am just worried that she may take it too seriously and it scares me that our relationship may become weird. Please keep us posted I LOVE the realness of this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ian k says:

    She may very well end up being considered as part of the family. That would be a good thing. Also it’s obvious that you can feel how bad you will make her feel if you told her not to. Obviously she should not be in the forefront when olive is with her parents and their friends etc.Just keep an eye on things, hygiene, weirdness, etc. By the way, maybe she follows your blog.In this day and age thats entirely possible.Can’t believe I’m actually commenting here.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Janae says:

    Why does it bother you? She’s helping you raise the child isn’t she? What is a kiss? a demonstration of affection. She probably already loves O. By telling her to stop you will 1) Hurt her feelings 2)put an unnecessary barrier. Would you mind if an aunty who visits once a month kisses you child? Probably not so why would you mind if the nanny who is part of her upbringing does it? If you feel bad it’s because you know it’s not right trust me. Try and put yourself in the nanny’s shoes. Imagine you’re a baby’s nanny, you form an attachment, you kiss it and then the baby’s mom comes to you and says “stop kissing my baby please”. How would you feel? Is it because you’re a nanny? Is it because they think you might not have a good sense of hygiene? Etc. I have 4 siblings and our parents travelled a lot for work – we were left alone with our house help very often. Kisses and hugs were always on the menu and it made us feel loved. Nothing negative ever came out of it, except some people’s opinions maybe “they let the house help kiss the child”… and to be honest I do not associate with that kind of mentality and I hope you don’t either.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely food for thought! And I completely agree with you. I ont have that mentality at all, thats not like me, honeStly I think it’s because she’s my first baby, I’m o possessive and it makes me feel strange seeing her with O like that, this is all New for me and I can’t really help how I feel so it’s very nice to hear your opinions so I can think about it from all angles! Also just to point out I don’t know our Nanny too well, she is New to us so I don’t really know her character too well, what she does after work etc, I’m leaving my baby in the hands of someone completely new to us and that somehow seems too intimate too soon.


    2. Also I’d like to point out that I also had such amazing house helps that I was very very smitten with, some were my ‘best friend’s growing up bit I guess this just maybe takes some time getting used to? I don’t know…


  4. laura lumbasio says:

    I think you should google “baby kissed by stranger and contracted herpes (oral herpes)”
    then maybe you will see its not right for your nanny to kiss the baby since you dont know her that well.
    P.S. im learning so much from your daily experiences

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Meredith says:

    I felt that way when the kids were babies. And now I am so grateful that they have a nanny that they adore as much as they do. But it is a really hard transition. She is still part of you in these early months. It feels in a way that the umbilical cord isn’t really yet cut and she is still part of you. That intimacy is such a wonderful time. Slowly, and almost imperceptibly, it will shift so that you will feel more comfortable. But, you also have to be very sure that you feel comfortable with your caregiver. They have to feel as if they are an extension of you and your care. Call if you want to talk my dear. M xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nduta says:

    @Laura Lumbasio all I can say is wow!! This is the kind of information that would make you look at everyone getting close to your child cross-eyed. What makes you think that a family member would not have the herpes virus?? Trust is a huge huge huge thing when you have someone else taking care of your child. The sitter/nanny/housekeeper (whatever title you give them) are an extension of you when you are not around and you are delegating them to “raise” your child with the child’s best interest when you are not around. No one will ever be the best fit for your child since they are not you, all you can do is give the caretaker the benefit of the doubt that they have your child’s best interest at heart. No matter what anyone posts/says/gives an opinion about, you are the parents and you have the last say. Just remember there is so much less love in the world, but if you find one other person with great love in their heart, you have truly found a gem. Good luck in parenthood

    Liked by 1 person

    1. laura says:

      I totally understand this point. I actually should have said ANYONE might have a cold sore and since its the cold season, its something to be cautious about when anyone is kissing a baby less than 3 months old.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Susan Omino says:

    Hey Tats! This is Aunty Susi! I understand that as a new Mummy you feel very protective over baby O, however let me tell you what my mother told me when I had my first baby who by the way was a prem and born two months early weighing only 1.6kg! My mum said let her nanny love her as you would rather that than a nanny who will pinch her when you go to work! That was the best advice my mother gave me. Sylvia’s first nanny left only cos she got pregnant but her second Nanny Judy stayed with her for 22 years! We only let her go this year cos I had to be firm with Sylvia and tell her that at 23 she no longer needed her! Jude has been like a second mother to Sylvia, she kissed her, cuddled her, ate with her, slept in her room with her, played with her, watched tv with her, travelled with her, advised her and just loved her in a way that took my breath away! I am forever indebted to Jude and feel blessed to have had her in my life. I have heard so many women complain about bad nannies but sometimes they just don’t stop to think that maybe they are bad employers. Nannies are human just like you and me and they do a very tough job! You couldn’t pay me enough to look after someone else’s child! It’s tough work! Think about this before taking her to task for only loving baby O!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Wairimu says:

    I feel you Mama O. I have a 10 week old baby girl and I feel myself having a mini panic attack everytime someone wants to kiss her. However, in our african culture it would seem downright rude to blurt out ‘don’t kiss my baby!’ So what i did is ensure that the house help, who is new, deals with house chores only.i personally take care of all baby related issues. I bathe her, hang out with her when she’s awake, change her and since she refused the bottle, am the only one who can feed her. My mum is around so she has helped us a lot. It helps that i work from home too. Until she gets older, maybe 6 months, there will be minimal contact between her and the house help. And by then i would have gotten over whatever crazy things i have been reading from the Internet!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Njeri Mbogo says:

    When my babies were weeks old, only max 5 people were near them and the thought of the care givers kissing them did cross my mind but at the end of the day I just pray about it. With time I let go and let God. Now they are much older (a year) and sometimes when one wakes up when I’m about to leave, I take them to one caregiver and they sleep with them (ndani ya kitanda yao) and nothing has ever happened to them. At the end of the day, they are just like you and me.


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